Springtime Nightmares

Purpose of todays post: random ranting and updating! 

18 weeks

I LOVE SPRING TIME! I really do! It's when all the beautiful flowers and tree come back to life making my drives so much prettier! Especially being here in North Carolina versus Arizona, EVERYTHING is so green and pretty! With that being said, I'm allergic to pollen and always get bad allergies. I haven't been able to breath out of my nose for a solid 2 weeks. Also my mascara is gone 30 minutes after I put it on cause my eyes are like fountains. Any tried and true ways to help allergies? I'm desperate! I got the clear to take Benadryl but it knocks me out cold! So dealing with these allergies have been my first nightmare...

The second are REAL nightmares! I always heard of vivid crazy pregnancy dreams, but it would be nice if I could have one pleasant happy dream for once! Every single dream wakes me up after totally freaking me out. They range from someone close to me dying, miscarrying my sweet babe, something happening to Michael, my baby being stolen by ghosts and so on....that sounds crazy but all of them seem SO REAL! I don't know how to make them stop! 

The very first step in Michael's discharging process has happened! It makes me giddy and happy just thinking about it! I am grateful for the army and those that live this life, but it is just not for us. Army life isn't what you think it is or what you see in the movies that's for sure. I'm sure if Michael's body wasn't having the problems that is has been having it would be different, but because of his health he's totally useless here and I feel like everyday is just a waste. Because the med-boarding process is a long one we will probably be back in good old Arizona by beginning of next year! 

I can't tell you enough how big of a difference friends can make. We haven't put ourselves out there at all since moving here, we've pretty much kept to ourselves and have been doing our own thing. It was getting lonely that's for sure. As soon as we moved into this ward we decided that we would get out of our comfort zone and try our best to meet new people! I 100% feel a change in both of us already! We had a dinner party over at our house the other night and it felt soooo good to have other people in our home just eating, chatting, and having fun! No more hibernating in our hole for us! 

About baby girl: we have decided to no longer announce her name to the world, for lots of different reasons! But I still don't know if we will wait ALL the way until birth or announce it right before, we shall see! A perk of living 2300 miles away from anybody you know is I still get to call her by her name and create that special little bond without worrying someone will over hear! It's so strange how I already feel like her name suits her perfectly! Hopefully starting the nursery in the next couple weeks! 

My big anatomy ultrasound is this upcoming week and weirdly I'm more nervous than excited about it! I know my brain condition is genetic and could be passed on to my girls so that has been weighing heavily on me lately...I don't even know if they could tell me this soon or not but I'm still worried! Everybody say a little prayer for a perfectly healthy baby fox! 

Okay so that was totally all over the place but whatever there are no rules to blog posts! Enjoy! Go smell the flowers:)